THREE!

Dear Chewie,

yesterday you turned three.  There wasn't anything i could do to stop it - you just keep getting bigger and bigger every day.

Kid, you are frikkin' smart.  I don't know, maybe all three year olds are this smart - that's entirely possible... you figure things out so fast, and you have such a happy demeanor, especially in the morning when you wake up and come out of your big boy room. 

Your flash me that amazing smile and say in a cheerful voice; "Mom! The sun is up - Good Morning!!" - it's hard not to be a morning person with you around being so happy and junk.

You love your little brother.  I'm so happy.  I was worried that you'd feel resentment, but for the most part you just love hugging and kissing your little Artoo, and i can't wait to see you two play together.  I hope you will always stay close.  He's very lucky to have a big brother like you, who loves him and wants to look after him and take care of him.  If i come out of this whole parenting thing with you two being friends, i'll know i've done a good job.

My little emotional boy, you feel everything so strongly.  This, i think, will be both a strength and a weakness.  i feel like your heart is near bursting with joy when we cuddle and kiss and play, but your poor little emotions feel the bad things strongly too.  The other day in the car you told me "Mom, you broke my heart." WHAT?  you were so sad as you looked out the window, and i wasn't exactly sure how i had broken your heart, but you certainly melted mine.

I cannot believe that you are part of me and part of your dad... that through the magic of biology we somehow created such an amazing boy as you.

 i love you so much... even on the days when you drive me crazy and i want to run to the hills - Iron Maiden style. Speaking of music, you have definite tastes and strong feelings about what music is good and what isn't.  You sing more than you used to - by yourself with your toys, in the car, in the bath, on the couch... and it's so freakin' adorable i think i might die sometimes. 

Thank you for choosing me as your mama.  As much as i can't wati to se you grow and learn and explore and do new things and become a man, i want to hold you and cuddle you and listen to your adorable 3 year old voice say things like: "Mama, i love you." or even as simple as "Mom! A mighty machine! over DERE!!" i never want you to figure out the "TH" sound... sigh.

You are magic.
You are brilliant and soulful and full of love and i am so very blessed to be able to watch you grow.

Happy birfday three year old boy.

Love Mama

Conversation with Chewie who is 2.5 years old

Chewie: Here mom, i got this cookie for you
Me: I don't want a cookie.
Chewie: Don't worry, mom, it's okay. i'll eat it for you.
Me: You're a criminal mastermind!!

relief

after 40 long days in the hospital, Artoo finally came home this week...

nesting.

THIS JUST IN:

Shredded carrots on swollen, cracked nipples = Heaven.

that is all.

Artoo's Birthday

I guess my body is not made for keeping babies inside 9 months.

B-rad and i went into the hospital at about 8:30 Saturday morning, and Artoo was born  at 11:31 am.  Everything was super speedy, and i went from 4 cm to pushing is about a half hour.   It was so fast that by the time i was already pushing, the docs weren't even ready to catch the baby yet! 

Artoo is going to be spending the next couple of weeks in Intensive care while he puts on some weight and gets stronger.  He was born at 3lbs 15oz - and Preemie babies usually have to stay in the hospital until at least 5 lbs, so he's got a ways to go.

32 weeks and still going strong

 Well,
We made it this far!!

32 weeks - this is where we were when Chewie was born.

So far, apart from feeling enormous and tired all the time, i'm feeling pretty good.

he wants to bowl with the gangstas

This is Chewie's new favourite song.
How do i know this? Because the second we get in the car he says; "I want White and Nerrrrdy Mama"
Or if we're sitting at the dinner table: "I want White and NEerrrrdy Mama!"

So, this song has been getting serious PLAY at my house.  And when Chewie bobs his little head and sings along... ".....NERRRRDY!........NERRRDY!!......"  it's too frikkin' cute. 

He's getting more and more hilarious every day, and more and more conversational.  It's hard to remember that he used to be a baby that did nothing but eat sleep and poop.

Really, though, this post is to distract me from the fact that i'm at 30 1/2 weeks right now.  Only a hop skip and a jump from where i was when i delivered Chewie...so early.  I'd be lying if i said i'm not TOTALLY freaked out.  I am. 

And it's made even worse by the fact that the past couple of weeks have been very uncomfortable.  Last night before bed my stomach clenched and was hard as a rock!  Braxton Hicks?  and then early this morning, i woke up to crampy type pains on the right side of my belly, and today i am extremely puffy.  So i'm chugging down the water, and trying to breathe and not think about it. 

I have to focus on November 7th.  That is the magic date - the date where i'm allowed to deliver at home... in water... as per my birth plan.

As we've not decided whether or not Artoo will be our last baby, there's always the thought of "This is it! This is the last time" for all these things.  I just want to have a normal delivery.  I don't want to look back and think that both times i did this i failed. 

Okay, i know i didn't fail - that my body got Chewie out before things got really bad, but it's hard to go to that place when you're already emotional.

So, Dear Artoo.... Please hang in there buddy.  Just for 6 1/2 more weeks.  Then you can come!  Okay? For mama? Thanks.