i'm amazed at how much you've changed in this past month. Already you look like a different little boy from the one we brought home from the hospital.
At your last weigh in, you weighed 7lbs 4 oz a far cry from the 4 lbs 11 oz that you weighed at your birth, and that was over a week ago - i'm sure your past the 8 lb mark by now. You look and feel like a bonafide baby, and not so much like a preemie. When we brought you home, it seemed that you were all arms and legs, and they were so scrawny, but now your thighs are thickening, and you're developing a right proper double chin. A chubby baby is a happy and healthy baby, so it makes me so happy so see you becoming a little rollie pollie.
i can't stop watching you while you sleep. Watching your facial expressions change, wondering what you could possibly be dreaming about. and your little gassy smiles are almost always followed by a concerned furrowed brow before you relax your face and keep sleeping so peacefully. i used to think the term "I slept like a baby" was bunk - because who in their right mind would want to wake up every two hours screaming? but now i see that its those moments of deep sleep, of peacefulness in those chunks of nap that people are yearning for.
I've only just noticed that you wiggle your toes while you sleep. I know another person in this house that does that, and it's not me. Another 'just like your dad' badge to wear on your sleeve; next to flatulence and messy eating.
oh yeah, and i sometimes wonder - when you fart - where you store all that gas!?? it's hilarious.
this past month has brought more awake time. As we approached your actual due date, it was as if a switch went off and you were instantly more awake and alert! Your dad and i use that time to hold the black and white geometric paintings we made in front of your face. You love to look at them, and we love to watch you look at them - your big dark blue eyes wide in a look of almost amazement.
Bath time is fun, after you get over the initial shock of being lowered into the warm water, you relax and let me hold you by the neck and shoulders, letting the rest of your body float, but you make sure you hold onto my supportive arm with your tiny hand. Making sure i don't let go. I will never let go, baby.
as you've become more and more alert, i'm finding it much easier to talk and sing and play with you. i used to think i'd never get to that place of comfort to make up silly songs and games - but i'm finally there. Today we discovered a game that i hope will be a favourite of ours... "Mommy Monster"... the monster that loves to eat little baby cheeks, and nibble on baby necks and chew on baby toes and suck on baby fingers... "Mmmm, i'm going to eat you up because BABY is my FAVOURITE FLAVOUR! Mawmamawmawmawmmmm....." right now it's really more a game for my entertainment because when i do this you look at me with those big wide eyes in wonder and amazement, with no real concern or amusement...
we still struggle with nursing, as i try to wean you from the nipple shield. We have good days and bad days, but i really try to give you lots of encouragement and praise when you're finally able to latch on and i can feel that you're getting big long drinks. We'll get there, baby. don't you worry sweetie.
I love every bit of you. I love the way you nestle so perfectly under my chin, the way you sigh when i hold you... the way your hair smells and the way it feels when i stroke your perfect little head. I love the way you look when we put you in the sweater Great Grandma M made for you. You are "All-The-Time Cute!"
i have a hard time remembering what life was like before you.