On Vomit, and Poop

Over the past 2(3) days, i really feel that - if i haven't earned my Mother Badge before, i have it now.

A nasty bug has infiltrated our house and home, but decided to only hook its grimy little pinchers into the weakest, most vulnerable, and cutest member of our household. Poor little Chewie has spent the better part of the last 2 days sick sick sick.

Tuesday morning at around 5 am, i woke up to hear Chewie making noises, followed by coughing. I went in to check on him and he was limp and so tired, he rested his head on my shoulder and fell back to sleep. I took him to my bed and we laid down, him sleeping on my chest, for about an hour or so.

When he woke up, he seemed happy enough, just kind of listless. So, i nursed him, and he was good until he puked up every last drop of what he just drank. This was the start of what the day was like. I continued to keep an eye on him, his temperature was slightly elevated, but he wouldn't eat, and he wouldn't drink... he wouldn't nurse either. This worried me. I kept feeding him bits of juice/water here and there, but everything i put in him, he brought back up again.

I would have taken him to the Minor Emergency Clinic, but we actually had a Dr. appt for that afternoon anyway, a NICU check up at the hospital Paediatric outpatients clinic.

Poor little guy, it was tough because we just don't have the communication. I can't reassure him other than to hold him while he cries, and to wipe away the vomit and rub his back. sigh.

At the appointment, the Doctor said he didn't like Chewie's colour, and was worried that he was getting dehydrated (as was i) so he sent us downstairs to the Pediatric ER for some blood work and Urine sample - apparently little boys are prone to bladder infections and kidney infections.

So B-rad, Chewie and I spent approx 4 hours in the hospital Tuesday night. Poor little dude. The upside is that we were able to get him to drink a full bottle of juice and water so he didn't need an IV, but the downside was - we had to hold him down so they could get enough blood for a sample. I don't know why that didn't occur to me when they said the words 'blood sample' for some naive reason i thought they'd just poke him with a pin and take a slide of blood and that'd be it.

Oh god, it was awful, again because of the lack of communication... and i'll never forget the look on his face as he screamed at being held down... the look of "Mom! Why aren't you helping me? Don't let them do this to me, mom! Don't!" it kinda chokes me up even now.

But that's not even the worse part, because he wouldn't pee, so they couldn't get a urine sample... which means.... CATHETER! Now, i think i may have written before about how this is a learning hospital, as most university hospitals are... but i think we may have gotten the D student Nurse. And if we had known that a student would be putting in the catheter, i'm pretty sure we would have said something. Needless to say, this was the worst nurse i've ever seen... and poor little Chewie screamed and screamed until he started losing his fight, which was awful to see him give up. FINALLY the other nurse said: "Just take it out. Take it out!" because the stupid nurse kept pulling it out, and putting it back in, and pulling it out and putting it back in, cuz she's a fucking moron. My poor screaming baby, with the tube going in and out of his little pee-pee even attracted the attending Doctor who watched the moron who was hurting my child.

B-rad and i were less than impressed.

The actual nurse told us that they'd put a bag on him, but if he didn't pee in the next 15 minutes, they'd have to try the catheter again.

They walked out of the little cubicle, i looked at B-rad and said; "what the FUCK was that?!"

GAH!

So, long story short, he didn't pee - but i overheard the Pediatric Doctor telling the Stupid Nurse that she was doing it all wrong and that she needed to do X Y and Z with little boys and then something about "next time", so B-rad and i were all ready to demand someone else try the catheter when the Peds Doc came in and declared that he would do the cath. he was in and out in less than a minute.

i mean, okay, i know that everyone has to learn sometime, but not on my fucking kid, especially if you're clearly a goddamned idiot.

So, blood tests were negative - except that my boy is anemic, which is kinda frustrating because he eats red meat twice a day... like, 2 ice cubes full at least, sometimes more. The doctor said that this may be why he is so pale, but the levels were high enough that he wouldn't need a transfusion or anything, that he could sort it out on his own.

And the urine test came back clear, so no kidney or bladder problems... the long and short of it: He has a nasty bug.

So, we took him home and cuddle the hell out of him. The upside at this point was that he hadn't vomited in over 4 hours, the downside... he moved into full blown diahrrea.

So, that night we set up the play pen in our bedroom to keep him close by, but didn't end up using it because the only way he'd sleep was on my chest... which means that I didn't sleep. Well, not very well anyway... and B-rad has been working early so he has been getting up at 5... so in an effort to let him get some sleep i took care of the baby solo, which was very exhausting to say the least.

Yesterday i did nothing except change poopy diapers, and try to sooth the diaper rash that has taken up residence on his little bum. He wouldn't nurse at all yesterday, and not for a lack of trying either. The only thing he'd drink was apple juice and water, and he did manage to eat a bit yesterday. But i spent the bulk of it with him either sleeping on my chest or sitting in my lap.

This morning, after a good night sleep (for both of us) he seemed a littele more like himself, although still fairly cuddly. He had a more solid poop, hooray, and he had some breakfast and has been generally happy.

As i type this, he's waking up from his nap. He looks like he needs a hug.

Ten Months

Dear Chewie

Hallelujah ~ its finally nice outside!

Mmm, we're having a picnic! And all i brought was this post card!

We've been managing to get out into the sunshine more and more, thank GOD. Our new thing is to walk up and down the driveway {with me holding your hands} while we wait for dad to get home from work. It's funny how in the space of one month you went from tentative step, not sure exactly what to do, to lifting your knees high up in the air and MOTORING. I can feel the excitement in this new found (somewhat) mobility. I know you just want to GO, and to go on your own, but you're still so wobbly. I can feel that it won't be long before you're teetering around the house or running at top speed.

Hanging out with Grandpa, giving out the High Fives!

This past month you did stand on your own, with no help from me or dad, or anything for that matter. It only lasted a few seconds, but it happened. You kept your balance! Now when we play on the floor in the morning before your first nap, i really try to work on that balance - i know it's in there. Usually you're too excited about the cats, or the window, or the toys on the floor, or me to focus long enough to stay balanced, but it's a work in progress.

allllllllmosssst.... allllmosssst.... GIVE ME THAT CAMERA!

Speaking of progress, you've been spending more and more time on your belly this month and spending less of that time screaming! I think you're finally getting the idea that if we put something you want just out of your reach, you can figure out a way to get to it. No, you're still not crawling but you are beginning to use your legs to push yourself around, a lopsided scoot. This is still a relatively new development, so i'm sure we'll see more of this in the next couple of weeks. Dad continues to force you to sit on your knees, and you're starting to not mind as much, now if we could just get you to use your arms as well as your knees, we might be on to something.

I know that everyone says: "You just can't wait for them to crawl, and then you'll be wishing they were immobile again" so i'm really trying to cherish the time we have on the floor together. It's my favourite time of the day... you've just had breakfast and you're happy and babbling and full of hugs and cuddles.

Hey, if i had something on my face, you'd tell me, right?......right??

Speaking of breakfast - we just started giving you Puffed Wheat a few days ago, and i can't believe how much you love them! They're just the right size for you to pick up, and they stick to your fingers a bit... but you just devour them! It's fun to watch you develop your fine motor skills! This month also involved re-learning how to drink from a bottle. You used to do it just fine in the first few months of being home, then you stopped and would have none of it. So we really had to work on it again. I wanted to make sure that you'll take a bottle when i go back to work, and while you won't take formula, you will take a bottle of water with about a tablespoon of apple juice in it. Mmmm, hydration.

he's got the general idea... just need to work on the direction...

Okay, so raspberries are in full effect these days. You've done them before, but now they are enhanced with 50% more spit!!! Yeah, you spray it everywhere, but it's still so dang cute. You're working on different sounds, more and more each day - you've got mamamamamama and dadadadadadadada going for you already, but this month brought "hiiiii" sounds, as well as "babababababa" or "naanananamaanana" or "behhh!" or "oooooh". You've also started grunting again. It's really quite hilarious, and i'm trying to catch it on film, but as always as soon as i bring out the camera or the video camera you stop whatever it was you were just doing and stare vacantly at me. sigh. But it's not just the grunt, it's like a full body grunt accompanied by a chest flex. Like you workout or something. Very manly. Very hilarious.

smiling at my daddy, he's the greatest daddy ever!

I've been training for my triathlon this last month, so most of your bedtimes are spent with daddy. It's nice, because you and dad get some quality bonding time - playing, making new games, reading books, singing. It's fun to watch you two together as you get more and more interactive, and more excited to be with him. He is a great daddy and his face lights up when i bring you into our bedroom in the morning to wake him up for work. I can see you two being two peas in a pod, and i'm imagining the fun times you'll have together as father and son. You really are his pride and joy.

This is my thoughtful pose. I'm thinking about the economy and investing in mutual funds

You've been teething again, which has been exhausting awesome. Nothing has popped through the surface yet, but you're general crankiness, pink cheeks, need to bite, and drool are the tip offs. Those days are hard, and all i can say is thank god for Infant M0trin. In times like those i think back to the days before over the counter pain meds and wonder how the human race survived the teething stage at all? It's a mystery i will never fully understand.

nom nom nom...giraffes, the other OTHER white meat...

Two more months and i'm back to work. Boo. It's really a count down now, and i'm trying to savour the moments. But each day goes by so fast! We found you a dayhome, just a block from our house, but the thought of leaving you with a total stranger every day makes me very sad, and i try not to think of it. The only thing that consoles me there is that our friends have been taking their son to the same dayhome for the last two years and have nothing but great things to say... to me, that speaks volumes.

...all you need is love...

As much as i look forward to the things to come, i am so glad that i'm able to be here and enjoy the stage you're in now. I always want to be in the moment, and you help me to do that. You rock, little dude. And i love you so much.

Love Mama.

Victory!!!!!!.........?

Yesterday marked Chewie's first day standing UNASSISTED!!

Granted, it was only for 2 seconds and he didn't know i wasn't holding on to him anymore... but STILL! That's gotta count for something, right?

Oh, and on the crawling front, still will NOT tolerate being on his tummy, and even though he kinda gets the whole scooting thing with his legs, he refuses to bend at the knee or do anything, really, except put his face down on the floor and scream at the injustice of it all.

poor guy.

Happiness Is...

...walking into your room in the morning saying: "Who's In Here? Who's IN Here!??.....MY BABY!!! Hello Baby!!" you kick your legs and giggle and give me the best smiles every single time.

...the sheer joy you exude

...the way you love the cats, even though they are fairly indifferent towards you.

...preserving your memories in a scrapbook, cuz i'm totally a nerd that way.

...watching your dad play with you. You're very lucky to have such a great daddy.

...the way your chin sticks out when you smile

...eating your toes

...the soft spot where your neck meets your shoulders, and nibbling there

...watching you play and discover the world around you

...the way you grin when you walk to something or someone (with a little help from mom, of course), you look so pleased with yourself.

...the way your eyelashes glisten when they're wet with tears

...the smell of your hair

...cuddles

...the tiny hairs that cover your body, but especially the ones on your ears that light up when you're properly back-lit.

...la la la la la la la la la....... and the other fun noises you make.

...your fascination with ceiling fans

...watching you learn to blow raspberries and covering us all in spit in the process

...the way you constantly wave your left arm in the air... even more so when you're excited about something

...discovering motherhood with you

Tuesday Toot

What have i done that's noteworthy?

Well, for starters, it was Chewie's 9month birthday this week signifying that the girl who can barely keep plants alive has successfully been a parent to a LIVING HUMAN BEING for nine months already. Where does the time go?

Also, i have been able to (so far) write Chewie a letter each month archiving his milestones and achievements, both his and mine. (see my sidebar)

ALSO... i managed to get back on a bicycle after crashing and burning and cracking my elbow 4 years ago, and i did NOT die and i did NOT crash... but i was still very tense. i'm getting better all the time, right?

I also spoke to three perfect strangers this week, and went for a walk with my new neighbour... all things that are hard to do when you're shy and not good at small talk.

Yay me. i rawk.

Nine Months

Dear Chewie,

So, it's been nine months and here we are at the point where i was going to say something clever like: "You've now been on the outside as long as you were on the inside," but that ship sailed way back at your seven month letter and i missed it! :) ah well.

This month we've managed to get outside of the house and actually do things outside instead of just going from one place to the next. Yes, actual fresh air and Vitamin D! The first such occasion was your first time on the sled your Great Grandpa M gave you for Christmas this year, which also happened to be on one of the freakin' windiest days of all time. It was Stupid Cold, and yet, we all trucked out to Hilly Side for your cousin Eric's birthday/toboggan party. You even rode on a snow machine for your very first time with your dad and your Uncle Doug.

Uhm, Mom... it's really really really REALLY cold out here, can we go home now?

I know that i've said you were long and skinny before, but this month it really began to show. In fact when you went for your last RSV Vaccine, you had actually lost half a pound this month! I measured your height and you only grew a half inch, and when you're only 15 lbs to begin with, losing a half pound is a lot of weight to lose.

nom, nom, nom, nom...

I figured that something like this might happen because it's been such a struggle to get you to eat this month. Every meal time was like Battle time, where in i would generally give in to you and give you a cookie so you would AT LEAST EAT SOMETHING... (don't worry, it's a pablum cookie). I imagine that your aversion to eating had not as much to do with your distaste for food as much as it had to do with the fact that, this month, you cut your second tooth. Hooray! Now you have both bottom teeth, which is pretty darn cute, and you have one wicked bite, letmetellyou. ouch.

Snuggled up with his Sleep Sheep

You have an amazing laugh, which you are seeing fit to share with us more and more. One of my favourite things right now is laying in bed, the three of us, early in the morning before your daddy goes to work. Well, i should say that the fact that you decide to be awake for the day at six in the morning is very much NOT my favourite, but the silver lining is the family time. I don't know why it is that you've decided to switch your internal clock back an hour. Don't you know we live in Saskatchewan and we don't do the Daylight Savings thing here?? Please go back to sleeping until seven... please??

Aside from the waking up early thing, you still aren't sleeping through the night like you did a few months ago... i call those the golden nights.... I don't know whether it's your teeth bothering you, or growth spurts, or what, but we went from 0-1 wake ups a night to 2-3 wake ups. Oh yeah! Another development milestone is that you TOTALLY HAVE the rolling from your back to your tummy thing. The only thing is, you seem to only do this when you're in your crib, trying to sleep... and ultimately you wake up so very very unhappy to be on your stomach. Your dad and i have taken to going in and rolling you over onto your back and hoping that you'll just find your way back to sleep. Sometimes this works. Sometimes. It. Doesn't.

Can you say Ladykiller?

Vocally, you seem to be enhancing your talents, continuing to try new things, new sounds... you've had a lot of fun with blowing raspberries the past few days, and you still enjoy babbling when we motorboat your mouth with our finger. But its the stringing of sounds together that i'm finding fascinating. And in the past month you've said Dadadadadad and momomomomomomomm, much to our delight and to your confusion as to why we're so excited. You have no idea.

The first half is just smiley happy, the second half is babbly motorboaty.

I've also noticed you have been picking up on some of the signs we use in the house on a day to day basis. It didn't take you long to associate the sign for "Change" with having your diaper changed, you picked that up right away...but the other signs have been coming along a bit slower. In the last couple of weeks it seems that you've started recognizing the sign for "Milk" and when i do the sign and ask if you want a drink, you wave your left arm frantically in the air and start smiling and almost hyperventilating. I'm almost certain that you actually asked for milk last week when you were tired and ready for a nap. We keep on keeping on, but it's pretty excited to think that we may eventually have some form of pre-verbal communication. Yay us!

Yeah, i totally make this sweater WORK!

A definite highlight of this months development is the high five. So awesome. You only started doing it a few days ago, but you totally do it. Almost every time i put my hand out and say: "Gimme Five!" you do. That's cool. You continue to find new and hilarious ways to keep your dad and me entertained.

Cutest. Kid. Eva!!!

Still no crawling, and no scooting, and still the general dislike of tummy time of any kind... your dad has been working on getting you to kneel, which you also don't care for, and i have this awful feeling that you're going to just SKIP the whole crawling thing and go straight for the full on run. You have also declared bottles to be for chumps, but will not take any beverages from a sippy cup. No, unless it's coming straight from me, you prefer your juice in a big boy cup like mom and dad's and generally end up drenched.

We had your first excursion out in your stroller - sans car seat, which was exciting but kinda bumpy as we got lodged in some melty-snowy-mud.
We almost had to turn back, but i put my shoulder to the wheel and pushed along.

We purchased your first pair of baby sunglasses which are totally adorable and you generally keep them on, mostly because i put them on you outside when the sun is shining on your face so you get why they're important. We have gone for walks by the river and you even went to your first movie at the Theatre (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Movies for Mommies).

Future's so bright... he's gotta wear shades.

As a mom, i'm finding it amazing how much more energy i have now that it's spring, and getting out and doing things seems exciting and adventurous. I can't wait for all the fun things we'll do. I love you. love you. love you.

Mama.

bathroom related tidbits

some things i thought i'd never have to say before becoming a mother:

* B-rad: "Honey!" he calls from the baby's room while changing his diaper
Laura: "what?"
B-rad: "Come here! You have to see this!"
Laura: "See what?"
B-rad: "He's pooping! It looks so weird!"
Laura: "Yeah, i've seen it!"

* "Don't pee on mommy!! And for that matter, if you could refrain from pooping on me too, that'd be just swell"

* "Hey! Where did this poop come from!?" in response to random poop found in the house

* singing to the tune of Mexican Hat Dance: "do-Doo do-Doo do-Doo!! We don't Poop in the Bath!!!"

* while changing a diaper: "Aw, C'mon! puh-lease don't try to eat your poopy diaper!"