Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thankful by the Tens.

Okay, here's the thing... i am thankful for so many things, but i'll try to boil it down to ten.

1. I'm thankful for the knowledgable hospital staff at NeoNatal who looked after my son in the first 2.5 weeks of his life. I'll never be able to thank them enough

2. I'm thankful for my fabulous husband who supports me in more ways than he knows. He's so awesome.

3. I'm thankful that i live in a country where i have access to Free Health Care.

4. I'm thankful for every smile and every laugh that my son sees fit to share with me.

5. I'm thankful for vibrating baby chairs. Good lord, am i ever thankful for those.

6. I'm thankful that I have many talents - some that I share with others, some that are only for my husband (meaow!) and some that i keep to myself.

7. I'm thankful for quiet times, when Chewie is sleeping and i can decompress.

8. I'm thankful for Mommy and Baby Yoga... it helps me find my centre.

9. I'm thankful for the friendships i have, online and off, and how special everyone is to me in their own way.

10. I'm thankful that i won't have to wait long for my surgery. Gallbladder, you'll soon be gone.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Okay, before you read this post, you have to hit play on this little video.... it will make it allllll make sense!!!

ready? the video is rollin?....ahem....

Good God, Almighty, my boy slept through the night!!!!!

We put him down at 10, he was actually asleep by 10:30... and he didn't wake up... UNTIL SEVEN FIFTEEN!!!!!!!!!!


i am so happy.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

4 Months

Dear Chewie,

you’re growing like a weed, it seems that we just finish one growth spurt with cluster feeding, and we’re on to another one. So many of your clothes have moved to the ‘too small’ box which is both exciting and sad - you are no longer my little teeny newborn babe, but have moved on to full blown chubby babydom. You’ve put on so much weight, i’m sure you’re easily 15 lbs or more. When we finish this bag, we’re moving on up to SIZE THREE diapers!!

New developments this month - you’ve discovered your hands and feet! You open and close your hands and point and flip the bird and rock out with the devil horns... and you’ve discovered the joys of kicking, which is really adorable in the bathtub - not so adorable when i’m trying to change your pants and you get your feet in the diaper.

Every day brings something new. You’ve started getting quite a variance in your cries, you throw in a high pitched squeal now and then, you kinda sound like a little dingo or some kind of yipping canine type creature. Not only the cries, but the laughing has begun which is possibly one of the best things i’ve ever seen or heard in my entire life!

And this month brought with it real live, honest to goodness tears - which broke my heart the first time i saw a little tear escape your eye and make its way down your cheek when we were driving in the car and couldn’t get to you fast enough.

you’re learning new facial expressions, and they crack me up - and your cuteness is so apparent that perfect strangers still lean over you and remark how beautiful you are and i just smile and say ‘thanks, we like him’. When i tell people how old you are they all say: ‘he’s soo little’ You still look small, but now you only look small for a 4 month old. For a 2 month old, your corrected age, you’re doing amazing.

We moved you from the basinette to the crib this month, something that i thought would be a lot harder than it was. You took to it fairly easily - i had been ‘training’ you by putting you in there to nap during the day. The one who took it the hardest was me. lol. Currently, i’m having a really hard time getting you to sleep without the need to nurse. I know that sleep training would be very beneficial for my sanity, but i’m still sort of indecisive about whether or not I’M ready for you not to need me anymore.

Every day you change in a new and exciting way, and your daddy said to me the other night as he held you in his arms; “We’ll never be able to do this again. We’ll never be able to just hold him like this.” he’s right. I try not to take you for granted, and i know that you’re probably sick of me taking picture after picture of that perfect face, but i don’t want to miss a thing....just like the Aerosmith song. :D

i love you more and more each day.

love mama

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Photos of the Cutest Kid - Halloween Style

aww, mom, i love you.
i love you too, baby.

handsome little devil, isn't he??

Ratatouille - a devil possessed rat

Chewie conquers the Pumpkin. Well done, kiddo.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

cry baby cry

it's been a long hard week over here at Casa Diva... Chewie's got it in his adorable little mind that he needs...nay MUST nurse to fall asleep EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! and as much as i'd love for him to keep sucking on those puppies, the chapped nipple in me screams out NO!!

So, i've been attempting to do some kind of weaning up in here, and he is by far a very UNhappy customer. In fact, this very second - as i type this - the cute little monster is trapped in his crib, crying cuz he wants me to come up there and nurse him... but i'm letting him try to discover his own soothing method...

so far - nothing seems to have come up.

i find it extremely difficult to go in there and 'reassure him' without actually picking him up. and it's even harder for me to listen to him cry, knowing that in the short run i can make him feel better... but there's that 'long run' off in the distance saying; "don't give in"....

i'm forcing myself to stay here and type so i'm not tempted to go in there too soon.

it's so very emotionally draining to hear someone you love soooo much sound so unhappy, without the communication skills to tell him that he'll really honestly be okay falling asleep without mom's nipple in his mouth...

it seems that everytime he sort of winds down, he somehow finds the energy for more tears and more crying... sad little guy...

do i give in?

do i really want to start doing this tonight?

i know that he'll forget all of this eventually, forget that one time when he needed me to make him feel safe and calm, i didn't come....

but those screams.... they hurt my heart.


okay, ten minutes is up.... time to go 'reassure him' that i'm still here and that i still love him...
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