Wednesday, April 23, 2008

i am a goddess

Last night i came to the conclusion that it's time to remove words like "Big" "Fat" and "Chubby" from my vocabulary when discussing my growing belly. And to adopt and embrace words like: "Curvy" "Round" and "Buddha" instead.

i realized that this stage is where i'd imagined myself to be for years, with a nice glowing baby belly jutting out in front of me, and i'd imagined myself showing it off and being proud of it.

this was not the case.

I'm aware that i've never been a size 3 model - nor will i ever be. Having dealt with body issues my whole life (like every other woman in the world) i kept looking in the mirror and seeing - not someone who is one with the Creator, but a woman who just won't stop growing bigger everyday. Everything is bigger. And instead of adoring this bulge i've been just a little shy of ashamed. Ashamed is really a strong word, but i can't think of a better one right now.

It's not that i don't love my belly and it's contents, but seeing that distorted self image in the mirror every day was beginning to wear me down.

B-rad has been fabulous. and last night he made me feel like i was beautiful, special, sacred.
i'm trying to keep this frame of mind - to remember that i'll only have a few short months of my life where i can be this close to being a Goddess - to really embrace that and accept it, and love my belly, and be proud of the added curves it's given my body. I am at my most womanly. Every part of my body is the vehicle to bring Chewie into my home and heart and world!!

i'm beginning to find peace with my body.
that's a beautiful thing.


Mrs. Dymund said...

You ARE a goddess. Love your bump.

Em said...

Never being pregnant myself, I suppose I never thought of it that way. When I see a pregnant woman, it just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside! They're so pretty! Keep smilin', mommy-to-be, you're gorgeous! ;)

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