Friday, May 23, 2008

Meeting the Doula

Last night B-rad and i met with a Doula because its becoming apparent that we're not going to be able to secure a midwife for this baby. So we're thinking that Baby Number 2 will be midwifed and birthed at home. Unfortunately, as beauracratic healh regions do business, it's taking too long to sort things out. Last i heard, home births won't be back on track for another six months, and as i've only got 3 months left... that leaves me with the Hospital route.

And as much as i don't really want that, i have to admit that spending that hour and a bit with Sunava last night really did wonders to put my mind and soul at ease re: birthing in a hospital.

When we arrived, the first thing we were greeted to was her super energetic and absolutely adorable 4 year old son. Shy is not even is this kids vocabulary!

I had told her before that as this was our first child, we had no kids to get into bed at home, so meeting at her house was not a problem.

Y'know when you meet someone, and you get that vibe, and you like them instantly? well, this is how it went down at Sunava's house. B-rad and i fell in love with her, almost the second we sat down on her couch. We chatted a bit about ourselves, about what we do for a living, what we'd LIKE to be doing for a living, and inevitably the conversation wound it's way to musical tastes... and i think this may be what sealed the deal for my fabulous hubby when we told her that we went to Roger Waters last year and her mouth dropped in just the right amount of excitement and envy!! Yeah, we were in good hands.

She told us a little about herself and how she came to find a career helping women with birthing. And she shared with us some philosophies about how the whole experience should be, and some of her experiences in the local hospital. I felt calmer the more she talked. I had a list of questions with me, but by the end of the night she had answered almost all of them, just in talking about herself and what she does.

I asked if she had worked me Dr. X before, and she said she had. When i told her about my last experience with her, she immediately rambled off a list of doctors i should call. She told us that that some of the nurses in the hospitals actually like it when women come in with them cuz it takes the burden off them, and some of the docs too, but if i don't feel comfortable with my doctor - if i'm worried she's going to 'encourage' something that isn't necessary - it will just elevate my stress level the second she enters the birthing room, something we don't want. So, i'm seriously considering switching docs to a doula/midwife friendly doctor.
"Remember," she said, "you're paying for your doctor! I mean, I'm from the States. We know who pays the doctors there. And here in Canada - i mean, you have Health Care, but who pays for the Health Care? You do. Your taxes do. If you're not satisfied with your Doctor, shop around for one you feel comfortable with."

It seemed that everything she said last night just made so much sense in a way that should be obvious, and yet for some reason it wasn't.

She also encouraged us to 'shop around' for a doula... but B-rad and i talked it over last night, and we decided that there was no point shopping when we already knew we wanted her.

So i emailed her this morning and asked if we could hire her for our birth. Hopefully she accepts.


Eva said...

Definitely get that doula! I'm sure that if I'd had one my birth experience would have been different. And DEFINITELY get a new doc! Your gut instict plus my opinion plus the doula's list o'alternates means that Dr.X simply isn't right for you. Good luck!

savia said...

She sounds so awesome. I'm glad you'll have someone there to advocate on your behalf.

My friend Marlena gave birth in a hospital with a doula for her second child and she said it was so much better than the first. She stayed at home and laboured with the doula until the absolute last moment and then went to the hospital to push the baby out. There was no medical intervention except to catch the baby.

I'm so excited for you!!

FourLeafClover said...

She sounds lovely. :)

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